I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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