how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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