Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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