Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
