Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
