I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
