just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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