Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
