Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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