She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
