She said her name was "party"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
