What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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