I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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