I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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