Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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