sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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