I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
