i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
