since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
