Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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