apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
