What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just gift wrapped bread.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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