Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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