Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
