what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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