I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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