There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
