Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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