Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
