The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
