I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
