Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
