My first STD was from a foam party
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
