if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
