I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
