U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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