This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
