my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize