I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is the high leading the old right now
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
