Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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