oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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