We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
