If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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