Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
