I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
