My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
