Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
