The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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