so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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