Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
