Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Life without a bra equals bliss.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
