How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
