just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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