I only kidnapped one of them. chill
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
