Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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