Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
