The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Quick, to the slutcave!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
