I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
